I’ve long been known as one of Silicon Valley’s pioneering female powerhouses — I’ve been one of Oracle’s top account managers, was founder/CEO of my own Dotcom, was featured on ABC’s “Secret Millionaire,” and am the creator of my own elite executive and entrepreneur coaching program. It’s been a career to be proud of!
Yet, despite these successes, pre-2015, one thing had still eluded me: romance.
After an unexpected divorce and years of being in and out of relationships, I realized something needed to change. I was ready to try something new.
Little did I know that this “something new” had been in my skill set the entire time!
My name is Hilary DeCesare — I’m a Business Coach, Silicon Valley Serial Entrepreneur, CEO of The ReLaunch Company, and author of the new book RELAUNCH!: Spark Your Heart to Ignite Your Life.
One day it struck me — I’m a successful CEO and doing things in my dating life that I would never do in the business world. I even continued to date a guy I would’ve never kept on as an employee! I decided to begin managing my love life like it was its own business — like I’m the CEO of my love company! Thus began a journey in which I relaunched my love life by thinking like an entrepreneur, resulting in me romantically, passionately, and magically finding my soulmate!
And yes, this is an absolutely true story!
And yes, this can happen in your life by following this same business plan… ahem, these same techniques!
1. Did Some (Personal) ReBranding: In business, you have to make sure your branding matches your end goal. As my Love CEO, I did an honest self-assessment: Where did I want my brand — Hilary — to be going? And, was I currently being that woman?
- My Own Brand: If I wanted to bring in a high-value man, was I being a highly-valued woman? The answer was no — I wasn’t sleeping, overworking myself, and burning the candle at both ends. So I was never showing up on dates in a state to allow for a relationship on the level I wanted. I asked myself: What was I doing to help elevate my own health, my own happiness, my own joy, my own brand?
- Dating Myself: I made a list, and began doing things I said I wanted to do with a boyfriend — going out dancing, going on an overseas trip, going to my favorite restaurant — either solo or with a friend, and began living my best life.
- Created a BElieve-It Board: Vision boards don’t work. Why? Because they don’t include my 3HQ™ Method, which incorporates the head and the heart (emotions, feelings). So on my BElieve-It Board I put the end-result identity of the woman I would be in this magical relationship: confident, vulnerable, self-aware, adventurous, and intriguing. I then began taking on the attributes and identity of this newly-rebranded Hilary!
2. Named the Non-Negotiables: Sometimes there’s room to compromise when beginning a business partnership, but other times a CEO needs to stick to her guns! I wrote down three traits my husband absolutely needed to have — the must-haves, the non-negotiables:
- He needed to make me laugh: I needed to be able to belly-laugh and truly enjoy myself with him.
- He needed to challenge me: He needed to be at my level of success and intelligence, my equal.
- There had to be an intuitive connection: I needed to feel that deeper sense of connection, where I was able to just be me.
I then wrote down three red flags I would not compromise on:
- No waffling: You can never make a man ready, and the signs are there if he isn’t — he’s not following up, he’s not planning something sooner rather than later, etc. I wanted a man who was definitive, clear, and ready to meet a woman.
- No downers: If they dumped negative stories on me about their life or their ex, they were toast.
- Lacking character: If they don’t do what they say they are going to do, I know that is never going to change.
3. Hit Key Performance Indicators: Every company needs to hit KPIs or key performance indicators; in other words, if I want to sell X amount of products, I need to make X amount of sales calls a week! As my Love CEO, I decided that if I wanted to increase my chances of meeting my husband, I would need to go out on X amount of dates a week, instead of listening to the common excuses of the past: “I’m too tired” or “I’m too worn out.”
4. Diversified My (Dating) Portfolio: As CEO, you would never invest all your company’s money, resources, or sales into one fund, market, or client — instead, you diversify! As my Love CEO, I decided not to limit myself, to engage every piece of the dating pie that I could find, and to leverage partnerships: Along with traditional avenues, I also let my friends know that I was back out there, I hired a matchmaker, and… I finally met my match!
When I walked into the room on our first date, he stood up, and my heart just melted… I had found him!
Today, my career is still firing on all cylinders. The only difference is that I now have the added bonus of being more in love with my husband Erich than ever. He is the sweetest, most wonderful man I’ve ever met, and I’m so overjoyed to share my life with him.
And to think, the “magical formula” the whole time was simply a well-executed business plan!
The Emotional Intelligence Needed to Succeed at Day Trading(Opens in a new browser tab)
About Hilary: Hilary DeCesare is an Award-Winning Entrepreneur & Reality Show “Secret Millionaire” helping women turn typical life transitions into transformation. DeCesare’s new book, “RELAUNCH! Spark Your Heart to Ignite Your Life” details her proprietary 3HQ™ method so women combine their head, heart, and higher self to create new brain patterns that shed limiting beliefs. Visit: TheReLaunchCo.com.