No matter how successful we are, at some point or another, we will all hit a wall when it comes to confidence. When I started out in sales, it just came naturally to me. I was a sales rockstar and no one could touch me. But, as it turns out, just because I was great at selling one product, it did not mean I was going to be just as dynamite selling other products. I still remember when my mentor turned to me and said, “Success is not permanent and failure is not fatal.” Naturally, it lit a fire under me.
I started making calls. I practiced and yet still failed repeatedly. I couldn’t figure out what was missing. My confidence was low, and I wasn’t sure of myself. I was experiencing imposter syndrome. In hindsight, I can see I was being mechanical. I didn’t comprehend what I was selling and I had failed to adjust my self-image. But you can’t rush understanding. You must apply the knowledge to truly learn.
Here’s the thing, reading a book or listening to a lesson will not change your behavior. Sure, you’ll gather knowledge. But until you apply that know-how and even fail with it, you won’t develop an understanding of “knowing.” I even attended a consultant’s training and a month later, I was still in the fog. My beliefs and perception of myself hadn’t changed. I was unsure of myself, and I needed help.
I Needed Knowledge That Can’t Be Found in a Book
There’s a great book called The Prosperous Coach, by Steve Chandler and Rich Litvin. The book says you’re a hypocrite if you’re a coach and don’t have a coach. That was eye-opening for me. And after attending a networking and Mastermind session, I reached out to a coach I had seen speak. Everything he said resonated with me.
I’ll never forget our first conversation. He said, “I know what your problem is. You have no order in your mind. I can help you get that order.” Up to that point, I was doing the same thing I’d done all my life. Shelf help. Reading. Gathering information. I was holding onto that old idea.
My old beliefs controlled my reasoning. It wasn’t logical to write out goals every day. It wasn’t logical to read and listen to lessons again and again. It wasn’t logical to talk to myself through autosuggestion every day. It wasn’t logical to visualize three times a day. But I wanted to bust through my self-doubt, so I gave it a try.
It took me eight months to accept and recognize the fact I wasn’t emotionally involved with changing my self-image. I was not thinking FROM the new self-image, I was thinking of it. To become emotionally involved means you must have a new emotion tied to an image. The old emotions are from experiences in the past. And then it finally sunk in. Vibration is altered by feeling. I needed to burn the bridges, die to my old self, and let go of her with a committed decision. It’s the committed decision that flips you onto a new frequency. You decide to operate from a new radio station. I needed to start acting as if the wish was fulfilled. Every new desire requires a sacrifice. I had to burn my bridges and leave my old self-image behind.
You Can’t Build Confidence Without Putting in the Work
That day I made the decision to become her and build a new belief. I allowed myself to accept the new idea and receive the rewards. I went to see an image consultant. I visualized and created who I wanted to become. I joined a mastermind group, made a list of people I admired, and I did the work. I took my power back. And it changed my life. People noticed the shift. I transformed the internal image of myself as a new independent, female business owner who makes a positive impact on people’s lives by empowering them to activate and utilize their potential. If I can do it, anyone can do it.
Today I am consciously causing my life and my sales, consciously causing my results. You can do the same, but you have to be ready to put in the work.
Here’s 3 Things You’ll Need to Do to Level-Up Your Self Confidence:
1. Establish a Solid Self-Image
Ask yourself who you want to become. Who is it that everyone should think you are? How do you want to show up? How does this person walk, talk, lead, collaborate, create, and live? Who does this person hang out with? What will be your legacy? What will they remember you for? What stewardship standards do you want to adopt? What are you willing to give, or give up, to become that person? Get yourself into an environment that is conducive to your unfoldment. The people in your life influence your vibration. As Jim Rohn used to say, “You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
Next, think and act as if you are that person. Prepare as if it is already so. Stop living a life based on what you think others think you are. Decide what you think others think you are.
2. Level-Up Your Decision-Making Skills
Confidence starts with decision-making. The more confidently you make decisions on your own, without worry or need of approval from others, the faster you will build up that confidence. Yes, new roles are uncomfortable, but that’s how we grow and expand. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Embrace being uncomfortable and take action; it is your gateway to freedom. Trust in your cybernetic success mechanism. It works by universal law and it will take care of course correction. Remember and reflect on your past successes. You can do anything you set your mind to. Ask yourself these four questions: 1) Do I want to be, do, or have this? 2) Will this move me in direction of my aim and goal? 3) Is being, doing, or having this in harmony with universal laws? 4) Will being, doing, or having this violate the rights of others? You want to have 3 yeses and one no – if so – say yes to you and do it now! The more easily you make decisions the more your confidence will grow.
3. Develop your strengths.
Develop your strengths. What is it that you do well, and how can you do it better? It amazes me how quickly we as human beings want to “take it easy,” whatever that means. We have talents, but we forget to use another gift we have, our time. The question is, are you in the habit of investing your time or spending it?
I believe the use of time is one of the greatest opportunities for salespeople. If you measure how much time you invest in selling, calling, contacting, following up, and persuading, you’d find the percentage of time used in the best way to be quite small. Forbes Magazine did a study in 2017, and the statistics showed that the actual time spent on selling during a day was less than thirty percent!
If you made just a ten percent shift in time investment over a year, you would cause a quantum leap in your performance. More investment in, more returns back. Your strengths are your gifts. Going back to the law of use, ask yourself, “How well am I investing my talents, time, and my mind on a daily basis?” If you ask that question, I am confident you will hit a golden vein of opportunity for yourself. Develop your strengths and watch your confidence rise.
4. Look for the good in everyone you meet
When you look for the good in others, you will see the good in yourself, and your confidence will grow and expand. If you look for what is lacking, you will reflect on what is lacking in yourself. That’s why Dale Carnegie’s golden rule is to never condemn, criticize, or complain. Whatever we give our focus and attention to will grow.
Just that one perception shift can make all the difference. The law of polarity states that there is always a positive and negative to everything in life. You can only focus on one thing at a time. Choose wisely and ask what you would like to grow. Your confidence? Well then, the best recipe is to look for the good!
Realize and accept what a magnificent human being you are. There is an image of perfection that is perfect in you; it is resident in all human beings. The more we move in the direction of that image, the more our life will improve. There is no end to the good you can experience as you develop greater awareness of the perfection that lies within you. Internal self-image adjustment is the magical switch that moves us in the direction of that perfection. Decide on who you want to become this year. Make that decision, and more of your potential will rise to the surface. Rhonda Petit is a Sales and Business Peak Performance Coach and the Founder and CEO of 3×5 Sales, where she works with both corporations and individuals to grow, unleash, and activate more of their true potential and power. Prior to launching her coaching business, Rhonda worked in sales for 35 years with clients at Fortune 500 and Fortune 1000 companies. Her book, The Spirit of Selling: Using Universal Laws for Sales Success, contains actionable insight into the universal laws that govern successful selling. Visit her website or connect with her on LinkedIn.
This article is excerpted from The Spirit of Selling: Using Universal Law For Sales Success written by Rhonda Petit.